An Awesome, Humbling Business Indeed…

I can hide my heart, and my past, and my future plans, from those around me, but I cannot hide anything from God. I can talk in a way that deceives my fellow creatures as to what I really am, but nothing I say or do can deceive God. He sees through all my reserve and pretense; he knows me as I really am, better indeed than I know myself. A God whose presence and scrutiny I could evade would be a small and trivial deity. But the true God is great and terrible, just because he is always with me and his eye is always upon me. Living becomes an awesome business when you realize that you spend every moment of your life in the sight and company of an omniscient, omnipresent Creator. – J. I. Packer, “Knowing God” 

J. I. Packer’s words pierce through the comfortable illusions we often live under. It’s sobering to think that while I can choose the image I wish to portray before others – hiding my fears, failures, and even my motives, I can hide nothing from God. He knows me, fully. Every thought, every desire, every plan. The good, the bad, the shameful. I might fool others, and even myself sometimes, but I can never fool God.

I don’t know about you, but this truth humbles me. At first, it feels terrifying! To be utterly exposed before a holy God is overwhelming! It causes me to think about the devastating fear and trembling that Isaiah must have experienced in his vision of the Lord shortly after King Uzziah died. “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” (Isaiah 4:5). But then I remember: this same God, who knows me better than I know myself, loves me. And it’s not a love based on who I pretend to be, but a love that persists despite knowing all of who I am. 

If I’m honest, I often live as though I can somehow evade His presence. I carry on with distractions and routines, rarely pausing to acknowledge that I live every moment in His sight. But when I stop and let this truth sink in, life takes on a profound significance that I can’t possibly ignore. Every word I speak, every action I take – none of it happens in isolation. God is there, not as a distant observer, but as the One who created me and calls me to Himself.

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. – Heb. 4:13 

This is both terrifying and freeing. Terrifying because there’s no hiding, and freeing because His knowledge of me is paired with His abundant grace! A lesser god might turn away in disgust, but the true God draws near in mercy. 

Living in the constant awareness of God’s presence calls me to integrity, and not just outwardly, but inwardly. It’s a call to let go of the masks I wear and bring my whole self to Him, warts and all. It’s a call to remember that every moment, no matter how exciting or mundane, is lived before the very God who holds all things together. 

Today, I want to embrace this truth rather than resist it. It’s so much easier than trying to impress others or trying to hide my many flaws. But it does mean walking humbly and honestly before Him who sees and loves me. 

It’s an awesome, humbling business indeed.